I Think I've Figured it Out

I make decisions/changes in such a strange way. I may not even know I'm working on making a decision, it just grinds away in the back of my head, running in the background. It makes life interesting, strange things seem to happen.. I'm forgetful, irritated, absent minded, under a cloud.. whatever you want to call it. I guess my bandwidth is all used up chewing on the decision I don't know I'm working on. Well I think I finally figured out what my brain has been working on, it's something I've been thinking about for awhile and needs closure before too long.

It's a should I stay or should I go kind of question. No, not with work. It's more serious because it's my only hobby, something I enjoy doing and do for free, the bike team. I have spent a lot of time trying to mold this group into what I think a race team should be. As a member of the Board of Directors I have grown our cyclocross team by x10+ times (still not that big). I have helped/suggested bringing in sponsors that I thought would benefit the racers. I've helped design clothing, plan and run training clinics, lead group rides, raced and generally helped improve the team anyway I thought appropriate. I've made a lot of friends on the team, I know what to expect and how to get things done. I've made a lot of contacts that could help with any issues.

But there have been many let downs. Racing alone, leading team rides that no one shows to for, a clinic that was embarrassingly under attended (including the board director for that discipline!), a clinic for a discipline that didn't happen because the organizers were afraid no one would show up (even though the majority of racers on the team race this discipline), this is a large team that has only a small number of actual racers (half the people that sign-up we never see again!), attendance is generally poor.

I guess it feels like I'm a member of a club that has some racers. A majority of the racers on this team are beginners because few race enough to get moved up. I feel like I want to be apart of a race team. Were members are a little more like minded.

So my options appear to be.
1. Stick with my current team. Don't give up, continue to move things forward and see if I can build a team. But I don't want to get stuck in the middle of the season frustrated and burned out wondering why the hell I did that.
2. Stick it out with my current team but don't be as concerned with the big picture. Work more with the people that I race with and build a smaller team within the big team consisting of the people I race with.
3. Find another team that is a little smaller (maybe) and more race oriented. There are a lot of unknowns with this option and another team is not necessarily a better team.

My plan:
Well, at least I know the question (that will help). Should I stay or should I go?

For now, I believe I will leave the question unanswered. There are some critical decisions and deadlines ahead. I think I'll see how those pan out before making my final decision.

If you have any suggestions, feel free to leave a comment or drop me an email.